St. Patrick’s Confession (Chapters 1-3)

St. pAtRicK'S CONfESSiON (cHAptERS 1-3)

St. pAtRicK'S CONfESSiON: KidNAppEd & ENSLAVEd

cHAptER i (Of 5)

I am Patrick, a sinner, most unlearned, the least of all the faithful, and utterly despised by many.

My father was Calpornius, a deacon, son of Potitus, a priest, of the village Bannavem Taburniæ; he had a country seat nearby, and there I was taken captive.

I was then about sixteen years of age. I did not know the true God.

I was taken into captivity to Ireland with many thousands of people—and deservedly so, because we turned away from God, and did not keep His commandments, and did not obey our priests, who used to remind us of our salvation.

And the Lord brought over us the wrath of his anger and scattered us among many nations, even unto the utmost part of the earth, where now my littleness is placed among strangers.

And there the Lord opened the sense of my unbelief that I might at last remember my sins and be converted with all my heart to the Lord my God, who had regard for my abjection, and mercy on my youth and ignorance, and watched over me before I knew Him, and before I was able to distinguish between good and evil, and guarded me, and comforted me as would a father his son.

Hence I cannot be silent—nor, indeed, is it expedient—about the great benefits and the great grace which the Lord has deigned to bestow upon me in the land of my captivity; for this we can give to God in return after having been chastened by Him, to exalt and praise His wonders before every nation that is anywhere under the heaven.

Because there is no other God, nor ever was, nor will be, than God the Father unbegotten, without beginning, from whom is all beginning, the Lord of the universe, as we have been taught; and His Son Jesus Christ, whom we declare to have always been with the Father, spiritually and ineffably begotten by the Father before the beginning of the world, before all beginning; and by him are made all things visible and invisible.

He was made man, and, having defeated death, was received into heaven by the Father; and He hath given Him all power over all names in heaven, on earth, under the earth.

Every tongue shall confess that Jesus Christ is Lord and God, in whom we believe, and whose advent we expect soon to be.

He is judge of the living and of the dead, who will render every man according to his deeds; and He has poured forth upon us abundantly the Holy Spirit, the gift and pledge of immortality.

Who makes those who believe and obey, sons of God and joint heirs with Christ; and Him do we confess and adore, one God in the Trinity of the Holy Name.

For He Himself has said through the Prophet: Call upon me in the day of thy trouble, and I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me. And again He says: It is honourable to reveal and confess the works of God.

Although I am imperfect in many things, I nevertheless wish that my brethren and kinsmen should know what sort of person I am, so that they may understand my heart’s desire.

I know well the testimony of my Lord, who in the Psalm declares: “You will destroy those that speak a lie.”

And again He says: “The mouth that lies kills the soul.”

And the same Lord says in the Gospel: “Every idle word that men shall speak, they shall render an account for it on the Day of Judgment.”

And so I should dread exceedingly, with fear and trembling, this sentence on that day when no one will be able to escape or hide, but we all, without exception, shall have to give an account even of our smallest sins before the judgment of the Lord Christ.

For this reason I had in mind to write, but hesitated until now; I was afraid of exposing myself to the talk of men, because I have not studied like the others, who thoroughly imbibed law and Sacred Scripture, and never had to change from the language of their childhood days, but were able to make it still more perfect.

In our case, what I had to say had to be translated into a tongue foreign to me, as can be easily proved from the savour of my writing, which betrays how little instruction and training I have had in the art of words; for, so says Scripture, by the tongue will be discovered the wise man, and understanding, and knowledge, and the teaching of truth.

But of what help is an excuse, however true, especially if combined with presumption, since now, in my old age, I strive for something that I did not acquire in youth?

It was my sins that prevented me from fixing in my mind what before I had barely read through.

But who believes me, though I should repeat what I started out with?

As a youth, nay, almost as a boy not able to speak, I was taken captive, before I knew what to pursue and what to avoid.

Hence to-day I blush and fear exceedingly to reveal my lack of education; for I am unable to tell my story to those versed in the art of concise writing—in such a way, I mean, as my spirit and mind long to do, and so that the sense of my words expresses what I feel.

But if indeed it had been given to me as it was given to others, then I would not be silent because of my desire of thanksgiving; and if perhaps some people think me arrogant for doing so in spite of my lack of knowledge and my slow tongue, it is, after all, written: “The stammering tongues shall quickly learn to speak peace.”

How much more should we earnestly strive to do this, we, who are, so Scripture says, a letter of Christ for salvation unto the utmost part of the earth, and, though not an eloquent one, yet…written in your hearts, not with ink, but with the spirit of the living God!

And again the Spirit witnesses that even rusticity was created by the Highest.

St. pAtRicK'S CONfESSiON: Escape

cHAptER 2 (Of 5)

Whence I, once rustic, exiled, unlearned, who does not know how to provide for the future, this at least I know most certainly that before I was humiliated I was like a stone lying in the deep mire; and He that is mighty came and in His mercy lifted me up, and raised me aloft, and placed me on the top of the wall.

And therefore I ought to cry out aloud and so also render something to the Lord for His great benefits here and in eternity—benefits which the mind of men is unable to appraise.

Wherefore, then, be astonished, you great and little that fear God, and you men of letters on your estates, listen and pore over this.

Who was it that roused up me, the fool that I am, from the midst of those who in the eyes of men are wise, and expert in law, and powerful in word and in everything?

And He inspired me—me, the outcast of this world—before others, to be the man (if only I could!) who, with fear and reverence and without blame, should faithfully serve the people to whom the love of Christ conveyed and gave me for the duration of my life, if I should be worthy; yes indeed, to serve them humbly and sincerely.

In the light, therefore, of our faith in the Trinity I must make this choice, regardless of danger I must make known the gift of God and everlasting consolation, without fear and frankly I must spread everywhere the name of God so that after my decease I may leave a bequest to my brethren and sons whom I have baptized in the Lord—so many thousands of people.

And I was not worthy, nor was I such that the Lord should grant this to His servant; that after my misfortunes and so great difficulties, after my captivity, after the lapse of so many years, He should give me so great a grace in behalf of that nation—a thing which once, in my youth, I never expected nor thought of.

But after I came to Ireland—every day I had to tend sheep, and many times a day I prayed—the love of God and His fear came to me more and more, and my faith was strengthened.

And my spirit was moved so that in a single day I would say as many as a hundred prayers, and almost as many in the night, and this even when I was staying in the woods and on the mountains; and I used to get up for prayer before daylight, through snow, through frost, through rain, and I felt no harm, and there was no sloth in me—as I now see, because the spirit within me was then fervent.

And there one night I heard in my sleep a voice saying to me: “It is well that you fast, soon you will go to your own country.'”

And again, after a short while, I heard a voice saying to me: “See, your ship is ready.”

And it was not near, but at a distance of perhaps two hundred miles, and I had never been there, nor did I know a living soul there; and then I took to flight, and I left the man with whom I had stayed for six years. And I went in the strength of God who directed my way to my good, and I feared nothing until I came to that ship.

And the day that I arrived the ship was set afloat, and I said that I was able to pay for my passage with them.

But the captain was not pleased, and with indignation he answered harshly: “It is of no use for you to ask us to go along with us.”

And when I heard this, I left them in order to return to the hut where I was staying.

And as I went, I began to pray; and before I had ended my prayer, I heard one of them shouting behind me, “Come, hurry, we shall take you on in good faith; make friends with us in whatever way you like.”

And so on that day I refused to suck their breasts for fear of God, but rather hoped they would come to the faith of Jesus Christ, because they were pagans.

And thus I got my way, and we set sail at once. And after three days we reached land, and for twenty-eight days we traveled through deserted country.

And they lacked food, and hunger overcame them; and the next day the Captain said to me: “Tell me, Christian: you say that your God is great and all-powerful; why, then, do you not pray for us?

As you can see, we are suffering from hunger; it is unlikely indeed that we shall ever see a human being again.”

I said to them full of confidence: “Be truly converted with all your heart to the Lord my God, because nothing is impossible for Him, that this day He may send you food on your way until you be satisfied; for He has abundance everywhere.”

And, with the help of God, so it came to pass: suddenly a herd of pigs appeared on the road before our eyes, and they killed many of them; and there they stopped for two nights and fully recovered their strength, and their hounds received their fill for many of them had grown weak and were half-dead along the way.

And from that day they had plenty of food.

They also found wild honey, and offered some of it to me, and one of them said: “This we offer in sacrifice.'”

Thanks be to God, I tasted none of it.

That same night, when I was asleep, Satan assailed me violently, a thing I shall remember as long as I shall be in this body.

And he fell upon me like a huge rock, and I could not stir a limb.

But whence came it into my mind, ignorant as I am, to call upon Helias?

And meanwhile I saw the sun rise in the sky, and while I was shouting “Helias! Helias!” with all my might, suddenly the splendour of that sun fell on me and immediately freed me of all misery.

And I believe that I was sustained by Christ my Lord, and that His Spirit was even then crying out in my behalf, and I hope it will be so on the day of my tribulation, as is written in the Gospel: “On that day, the Lord declares, it is not you that speak, but the Spirit of your Father that speaks in you.”

And once again, after many years, I fell into captivity.

On that first night I stayed with them, I heard a divine message saying to me: “Two months will you be with them.”

And so it came to pass: on the sixtieth night thereafter the Lord delivered me out of their hands.

Also on our way God gave us food and fire and dry weather every day, until, on the tenth day, we met people.

As I said above, we traveled twenty-eight days through deserted country, and the night that we met people we had no food left.

St. pAtRicK'S CONfESSiON: tHE ViSiON of iRELANd

cHAptER 3 (Of 5)

And again after a few years I was in Britain with my people.

Who received me as their son, and sincerely besought me that now at last, having suffered so many hardships, I should not leave them and go elsewhere.

And there I saw in the night the vision of a man, whose name was Victoricus, coming as it were from Ireland, with countless letters.

And he gave me one of them, and I read the opening words of the letter, which were, “The voice of the Irish”; and as I read the beginning of the letter I thought that at the same moment I heard their voice — they were those beside the Wood of Voclut, which is near the Western Sea — and thus did they cry out as with one mouth: “We ask you, boy, come and walk among us once more.”

And I was quite broken in heart, and could read no further, and so I woke up.

Thanks be to God, after many years the Lord gave to them according to their cry.

And another night — whether within me, or beside me, I know not, God knows — they called me most unmistakably with words which I heard but could not understand, except that at the end of the prayer He spoke thus: “He who has laid down His life for you, it is He that speaks in you’; and so I awoke full of joy.

And again I saw Him praying in me, and I was as it were within my body, and I heard Him above me, that is, over the inward man, and there He prayed mightily with groanings.

And all the time I was astonished, and wondered, and thought with myself who it could be that prayed in me.

But at the end of the prayer He spoke, saying that He was the Spirit; and so I woke up, and remembered the Apostle saying: “The Spirit helps the infirmities of our prayer.

For we know not what we should pray for as we ought; but the Spirit Himself asks for us with unspeakable groanings, which cannot be expressed in words”; and again: “The Lord our advocate asks for us.”

And when I was attacked by a number of my seniors who came forth and brought up my sins against my laborious Episcopate, on that day indeed was I struck so that I might have fallen now and for eternity; but the Lord graciously spared the stranger and sojourner for His name and came mightily to my help in this affliction.

Truiy, not slight was the shame and blame that fell upon me!

I ask God that it may not be reckoned to them as sin.

As cause for proceeding against me they found — after thirty years! — a confession I had made before I was a Deacon.

In the anxiety of my troubled mind I confided to my dearest friend what I had done in my boyhood one day, no, in one hour, because I was not yet strong.

I know not, God knows — whether I was then fifteen years old: and I did not believe in the living God, nor did I so from my childhood, but lived in death and unbelief until I was severely chastised and really humiliated, by hunger and nakedness, and that daily.

On the other hand, I did not go to Ireland of my own accord, not until I had nearly perished; but this was rather for my good, for so was I purged by the Lord.

He made me fit so that I might be now what was once far from me that I should care and labour for the salvation of others, whereas then I did not even care about myself.

On that day, then, when I was rejected by those referred to and mentioned above, in that night I saw a vision of the night.

There was a writing without honor against my face, and at the same time I heard God’s voice saying to me: “We have seen with displeasure the face of Deisignatus” (so revealing his name).

He did not say, “You have seen,” but “We have seen,” as if He included Himself, as He said: “He who touches you touches, as it were, the apple of my eye.”

I give Him thanks who has strengthened me in everything, as He did not frustrate the journey upon which I had decided, and the work which I had learned from Christ my Lord; but I rather felt after this no little strength, and my trust was proved right before God and men.

And so I say boldly, my conscience does not blame me now or in the future: God is my witness that I have not lied in the account which I have given you.

But the more am I sorry for my dearest friend that we had to hear what he said.

To him I had confided my very soul!

And I was told by some of the brethren before that defence — at which I was not present, nor was I in Britain, nor was it suggested by me — that he would stand up for me in my absence.

He had even said to me in person: “Look, you should be raised to the rank of bishop!” — of which I was not worthy.

But from where did it come to him afterwards that he let me down before all, good and evil, and publicly, in a matter in which he had favored me before spontaneously and gladly — and not he alone, but the Lord, who is greater than all?

Enough of this.

I must not, however, hide God’s gift which He bestowed upon me in the land of my captivity; because then I earnestly sought Him, and there I found Him, and He saved me from all evil because — so I believe — of His Spirit that dwells in me.

Again, boldly said.

But God knows it, had this been said to me by a man, I had perhaps remained silent for the love of Christ.

Therefore then, I give unwearied thanks to God, who kept me faithful in the day of my temptation, so that today I can confidently offer Him my soul as a living sacrifice — to Christ my Lord, who saved me from all my troubles.

So I can say: “Who am I, 0 Lord, and to what have You called me, You who did assist me with such divine power that today I constantly exalt and magnify Your name among the pagans wherever I may be, and not only in good days but also in tribulation?”

Therefore indeed I must accept with equanimity whatever befalls me, be it good or evil, and always give thanks to God, who taught me to trust in Him always without hesitation, and who must have heard my prayer, so that I, however ignorant I was, in the last days dared to undertake such a holy and wonderful work — so imitating somehow those who, as the Lord once foretold, would preach His Gospel for a testimony to all nations before the end of the world.

So we have seen it, and so it has been fulfilled: indeed, we are witnesses that the Gospel has been preached to those parts beyond which lives no one lives.

Continued at: St. Patrick’s Confession: Chapters 4-5 (Monks Category)